Sunday, July 8, 2012

What I didn't expect while we're expecting...

I have never really understood most people. I should be used to it by now but I have been surprised once again.

We [my partner and I] are pregnant. It's a big deal and we're very excited as our our families and friends. A surprising number of them are beyond excited, they are frantic with demands to know the sex of our unborn. My mother is actually angry with me because she thinks I am witholding information from her. My "mother-in-law" isn't quite there yet, but only in so far as she accepts that we don't know yet. We won't know for a few weeks at least in case you were wondering.

Most people, it turns out, really feel that they need to know. They feel that the sex of the baby is the most important thing. I personally could not care a whit which sex we end up with. We're expecting twins so we might even get one of each. That tidbit does little assuage the desperate pleas from the masses. They just need to know the sex of both of them.

Why? So they know what colors to start buying or making clothes, blankets, toys and what-all. Seriously? Do they even know us? Do they really believe that we will be dressing our potential girl(s) in pink ballet outfits and decorating their rooms with ribbons and unicorns or that we'll have our potential boy(s) donning navy blue sports uniforms while decorating the nursery with firetrucks and toy soldiers!?!

Well we won't be. We don't want his and her pink and blue quilts or teddy bears or any other stereotypical gender restricted junk. And frankly I can't believe anyone would think we would.

It also seems that everyone has a "sure way" to tell what it's going to be. There's the Chinese calendar method, carrying high or carrying low method, ring on a string, craving sweets or savories, peeing in drano, how fast does your hair grow, fetal heart rate... and the utra-sound. Admittedly, that last method is accurate about 90% of the time, though most people believe its 100% of the time. The rest of them are a load of crap.

First, do these people have any idea how many things they really should be worried about? Between autism and SMA, prepartum cardiomyopathy, gestational diabetes, countless genetic disorders... and all that assumes you successfully carry to term. Yeah, what sex are they is really important.

Then, assuming everything else goes OK and all the testing along the way gives positive results you still can not test for gender or wether or not the child will like pink or baseball or ballet or anything. Maybe she will want to play football wearing a pink tutu and unicorn leggings. Maybe he will want to dance ballet in army fatigues and a tiara. I'm good with either.

So, when we get our first clue as to the sex of the little ones, don't be surprised if we don't tell you. And don't be surprised when we toss the pink ballet themed quilt into the trash (or give it to goodwill) the day you give it to us. The same goes for the firetruck one.